Category: Let's talk
This talk on dad'ds that happend in dateing and relationships imspired me to post this here. I too, love my dad. I've almost lost him at age 13 due to a tramatic accident. But he is still here with us. I got to know him as a man, and as my dad. I truely love my dad and as I age, I start to think of what it will be like when they are not here anymore. My favorite thing to do with dad out of all the things we do together is wrap Christmas gifts for mom and listen to Christmas music. Beings as I don't live at home anymore, I really started to think. After Christmas eve was done, I found myself crying in bed at the thought of what happens whenmom and dad are not here any more? The thought of not wrapping gifts with dad is too much for me to think about. For its those little things that matter the most. Dad knows all of this. I an thankfull that my family is still alive and make sure to tell them I love them after speaking with them. Even the little things ssuch of the rare good-night hugs I get to shair with my parents are of importance. They are in there mid 50's, and maybe I think of this stuff too soon. But experience taught me, aprisheate everything you have, and tell everyone that you love that you love them. For you dont know when that opertunity might not be available on earth anymore. John
hmmmm....i've never really thort of future with out my parents.
like you say you don't know what's going to happen round the corner so you should make the most of it. my mum's 40 and i never really had a dad (well i wason't told about him) iver way i'm dreading when there gone. my nan is 83 so it can't be long iver since she goes as well.
just my thorts on the matter
stargate
JH You are dead on and I'm glad you reached that level of understanding..we were almost there when Dad died, it's 4yrs now, but seems like yesterday. my family are close ad I did tell him several times how much he meant to me..it's a hellish feeling mate dont dwell on this as it could drive you crazy.
You are so right John. I don't know why it is so hard for most of us, me included, to tell people how we feel about them on a regular basis. But we really should because, like you said, you never know when you might not have that opportunity again. Your parents are in their 50's, so hopefully they will live for 30 or 40 more years or even longer. But while you shouldn't dwell on the fact you might lose them sooner, you should continue hugging them and enjoying times together and telling them your feelings as often as possible.
Yes, Becky and others. Indeed I have learned to make it a point to ttell those I love that I love them. I also thank them for being there through thick and thin, something most men can't seem to do. That's unfortunet that sisiety tels men they are to not be emotional at all, not to express anything and to just be "A man." This is the case in the US at least... I can't speak for other countries.in
Jh have you discussed this anxiety with your parents I think it may help,as this may be residual stress from almost losing your Dad. And as far as men having difficulty expressing themselves emotionally, its sadly the norm in Scotland, the suicide rate among young men is rocketing due to the outdated idea that we have to be hard men. I cry and express myself, but it's rare..though if Celtic get beaten tomorrow, you will see hundreds of grown men cry.
I don't feel anxiety most of the time over it... I usually don't think about it. But the thing that probably braught it to mind over christmas was the fact that dad saying "what am I gonna do when you may not be here to wrap ppresents with me anymore?" Like I said, its usually something I don't think about, but sometimes it creeps in probably due to the experience of me almost losing dad.
Maybe your Dad needs to discuss his close brush with death,and as you 2 are so close he may feel you are the only 1 he can talk to.
I can't speak as to what he does with others. He seems verry open about it with those that are close.
I loved my dad very very much too and we always told each other that iether by phone or face to face.
My dad was great for expressing his effection because he was half Greek and half Russian and even though men are not incuraged to cry in Russia (not sure about greece) they are incouraged to express effection.
My favourite things to do with dad would be talking to him about anything at all and watching films together.
I stayed loyal and close to dad dispite my mum trying to drive a wedge between us.
He dyed when I was 21 and he was only 53. It was a sudden death. He dyed of a heart attack in his sleep.
It was the first time I lost someone I loved so much and I was devestated, but thank God I went to counciling and that helped.
I believe that my dad is looking after me from heaven though because every time I'm going through a bad patch in my life as we all do, I see him in my dreams when sleeping and when I wake up, what ever it is that is troubling me seems easyer to bare.
I am going to join all the rest of the posters here John and advise you to talk about your worries with your dad and continue showing how much you love and appreciate your folks while they are alive.
Maria.
My dad has left home (within the last few months) and although he is still dad and I still love him - I feel I don't know him at all...
Hi John:
Sometimes i don't think my parents know that I love them and that i care about them. it seems as though everytime we get into a fight, they bring up my compassion for the children with muscular dystrophy, and the people in south africa. they say that i care about those people more then i do my own family. That really hurts because i don't feel that way about them. I do care about them they just don't see it.